Haze

"Knowledge bowl is like A.A for all masterbaters..."

Since saturday (or friday) I've been sick with a head cold, plugged ears, etc.

I feel like utter shit.

I am glad to actually be writing something but i'm saddened for the reason why I am even near a computer with internet access.

Saturday (or friday night...) was fun, I mean if I actually wasn't sick I bet I could of attempted to belt out the lyrics to Interpol and Rage Against the Machine.

It's been a long time since I had fun, since summer days.

When you take too much dosage of Robitussin, things turn hazy. I literally layed in my bed looking through the sky-lights for like half an hour! To move only creates more pressure in my head. My voice is shattered, people right next to me can barely hear me.

I had TGI Fridays last night, was good.

I picture your face in the back of my eyes,
A fire in the attic, a proof of the prize,
Anna Molly

Today, another ride to the VA Hospital, to see papa smurf dying and getting weaker each day. Another bullshit conversation with her and with him.

I really wish this was January and not Christmas.
Chirstmas for the gardner/blue crew is going to be at my uncle earnie's house.

Uncle Earnie just got out of prison 2 years ago.
The man has killed people so I always wonder "what if I don't shake his hand just right." Or I drink to much pepsi and wet the bed.

But on the other hand, they do own like a bunch load of cats and dogs and other animals that I deem cute and/or cool looking. (hahah yeah cool looking...)

My friend Keith is coming to visit me during Christmas break. That'll be good. And how I look forward to 24 hours of a "Christmas Story."

I could keep going with these two or three liners but i'm off to go hop in the shower so i'm Audi 5000!

Aeliot/Scoots

do you like the way the water tastes
like gunfire
for you but you could never say
then come forth cuz its coming round
round the water

beware the water

These past posts after Cherry Waves are from an old notebook of mine I started in the 8th grade. Which I know they don't make sense because at the time I didn't know any of the English ways of writing. So I am here posting my old notebooks posts and having a blast doing it. There will be more to come. Enjoy!

So now..

So now...

So now I realize
The truth of my place in this group
I see the end inching further and further

Bait me in using the Geek "call"
Random invitations
Acknowledge another player

\\\Rewind before me

I see you watching yourselves
Becoming Pseudo free
Seeking Pseudo-enlightenment
In a fucking video game!?
See an opportunity, rape it till it doesn't move\\
Make a get together
Make an even bigger get together
Make preparations for space monkeys
In fact, place me alongside you
Use my nature, Use my skills
I know you need them
Lie to me, everyone does

Jump ship when the times get rough.


Stay away from me until next year
I hate being used
I hate being used
I hate being used

Go home late
I lay on my bed
I can see the action

I can feel better
No I can't

Problems hiding underneath my bed, plague
My head once again

In my head

The earth in my head

Is this it?
The final decision?

I wondered about this for a long time now
But never actually done it
I'm tired of lies
I'm tired of being stricken with a disease

I'm going to go now
I'll dive down and hold it all in

But one day I'll resurface to breathe
And that’s when I'll be skewered from the side
Used once again

I'll use this tool for my own destruction
New will be a word I haven't felt in awhile
I'll be waving goodbye

As I load the shell into the chamber
And stretch out

I'll be waving goodbye

I'll pull the trigger and I'll fade away

Crushing Tide

Crushing Tide

I found the way to my passion
Through the course of my own
Insanity and deformation
I know

What I don't know
Is what’s becoming of the now
And how I've become of a victim
Without a crime

The water crushes me
Sucks me in closer

How I love the water
But now I know
What lurks in the deep

H & L

Hypocrisy

A word I didn't even know until now
I'm lonely
One word that would define a lot of people I know are victim to
I'm tired
One word that infects the ones I treasure
One word that makes me run from the ones I treasure
One word that fucks my head
One word that I know will hurt me
One word that I know will create a paradox of information
One word I see almost everyday

H Y P O C R I S Y

Love
One word that I find faulty...Love

Hole

Hole

There's a hole in my thoughts
Which I cannot repair
There's a hole in my ear
To allow vibrations to be heard
There's a hole in my ear
So I can become sick
There's a hole in my ear
That lets me interpet

That notifies the brain
There is a burning anger inside

There's a hole in my heart
I like the way I feel
Its me
All alone

Do you notice me?
Do you know, that you should run
From the sight of me

Lost Thoughts

Lost Thoughts

As I hold tighter
And cling to my insides of my head

My outer shell shatters
Revealing everything inside
Anger rushing out like blood from a gutted pig
There go my thoughts
Out of my head, replaced with anger

Points

Points

Bam boom
There goes another screaming damn you!

All the while
I smile

I hop the ghost
Dodge the gunfire like a select most

Tough and green
Is who I find mean

A blank portrait
Screaming "USE ME"
Like a drug

I like the feeling

I crave it every weekend

I'm a god...a monster

..savage

You should flee from me
I will bring you unavoidable pain
Take you from your world
And throw you straight into mine

I'll hold your hand
Take all I say
Within you head, spin around and around

I've been alone here
Until I discovered you
When will it be over

When will I

A reminder left on fire
A voice that is left mute
Eyes that see beyond our fate

I will not let go
Stay next to me
I'm alone